Discarded Weaves & Old Crullers

I figured today, keep it tame, no ads directing my thoughts, wanted something though to challenge me a little bit, come up with this, the “rubber throat bag.” This can only end badly, I know it, but I figure, it can’t be what I am thinking, because that’s why God made ice  cream no? So, I research it just a bit…

“High quality rubber, so it won’t get hard.”

I think I am a funny guy, seriously though, I could never have come up with that, once again, reality is way stranger than fiction, and funnier. Or is it more funny? Yeah, I am trying to get away from the thought of someone putting ice in a rubber tube and sucki-, no, deep throating it for relief. Nothing is going to come off right today.

Oh….shit. Umm, turns out they are tubes to apply externally, not swallow. Well, that is embarrassing if not disappointing as well. I apologize. Trying to live better these days, dormant emotions pressed flat by a steady supply of fog, well, clearing presents rediscovery, and I ignored a lot of different feelings over the years. Life lesson: never take the top Google result, it might be bullshit.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my work place, it’s moving soon, but damn if it isn’t quite a plaza. A Dunkin Donuts, a pain doctor, a call center, a Kava bar, and a recovery clubhouse. Really, you could live there. And you might, if after making some decent money at aforementioned call center, you go to the kava bar, buy some kratom, then end up at the pain doctor, because yes, this shit still goes on in Florida, just under the name Dilaudid aka hydromorphone (sounds way more tame than oxycodone) these days, but hey, you have to shoot those or they are a waste, wise move medical community…Did I mention there is a wig shop? Yep, after things get bad using, you can go get a disguise, take up a less than promising career in robbery, eventually ending up homeless, unless you land the midnight to 8 shift and sleep in the day time.

Point is, I was walking around back, the dumpster by the weave place had a few items lying beside it, I am thinking yeah, 3-4 months ago, I might have grabbed that and sold it, or found a dress to go with it, hold up a bank in drag, because I am remembering some desperate things from the past, so I chuckle, until I get to the Dunkin Donuts trash, and see a bunch of crullers and muffins lying on the ground, having fallen out of a torn trash bag. Where was this stroke of good fortune 3-4 months ago?

Random this one, buddy tells me a neighbor takes sponge baths outdoors. Probably goes about 250. Sending him to therapy. Listen to me now, it’s all about reactions, how I perceive things, because not everything is a personal affront towards me. I never saw myself as the center of the universe, but I thought I should be. If you didn’t do me favors, there was no room for you in my inn…

I ran my world, slammed it into too many others, pretending no damage ever got done. Like that scene in Wolf of Wall St, when the Lambo is really messed up even though he thinks he made it home without a scratch. So that’s the lesson here, no kava, kratom, vapes, donuts or weaves for me. Don’t think that’s right either.

Another buddy never heard of Led Zepplin. WTF?

All of it is awesome. I am alive. I am peaceful and am there for other people wherever possible. I am getting better, not well by a long shot, I mean, now that I read the instructions to the throat bag, I feel bad for listening to my mind’s suggestions, and I am pretty sure that is 10, I messed up, you all had to read the ramblings of a perverted realist, I know someone out there went down the same road, just glad I can admit that mistake and apologize. I hope you find a sense of humor soon, but they don’t sell it at any stores in our plaza and you certainly won’t find it in the trash.

Or maybe you will, because like I said it’s all about perspective, and you never know when saving grace will give you a laugh.


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