Piles of Stones

Yeah, I will take 3, got some birthday gifts I need to get

All in one fixes, a simpler time when I didn’t need face wash, shampoo, body wash, where a bar of soap covered it all. Wait, that’s a terrible flashback, something dealing with no freedom, guess my mind is blocking out tragic events, or maybe I remember more everyday. Sometimes need to laugh so my new found perspective remembers to chisel through the lapses in sanity.

Seriously though, this ad, incredibly wrong, “Large enough to be efficient, small enough for any one over 15 years old…….” Umm, excuse me? Call me crazy, but all this talk of abuse bantered around, let’s say a prayer for those who found out what efficiency means in these circumstances, because I don’t quite get how this is going to fix anything. Piles by the way, would be hemorrhoids. How a metallic phallus can fix all that, well…it wasn’t called the era of charlatans for nothing…What? It wasn’t called that? Should have been.

If you read all the small print, because that is a necessary life lesson, you will see the silver lining that at least this “appliance” needs no “electricity” to work…and the “lubricating vents.” Way to stick it to the competition, and cheers to the “Vital Spot,” which for me is sadly front and center in my imagination. Never used so many quotation marks in any post, but some things I want to be clear- the inventor of this had the best intentions I guess, or was a Sadian, not a sadist, but semantics applies.

Really, I am struggling to find words to bring this anywhere relevant, but maybe this is metaphor, we have all been figuratively Rectorotored…If that isn’t a disturbing verb, I have no clue what darkness even is in reality. Anyone willing to admit literally, well, balls you possess.  Concentrate…get something profound out, maybe this is a great time to discuss fiber, it’s benefits, and why we should all cut large amounts of cheese and opiates out of our diets. Wow, I said that. The little things, regularity, some of you get that, some are wondering when I fell off the wagon. Alas, this is me clean, frighteningly lacking filters and tact, I just type whatever comes to mind.

That said, the only saving grace is modern medicine, which here in the US, means sinking into the red should something major happen. But when the little things happen, keep them small, get away from your head and pay attention to be able to offer a helping hand. It could always be worse, we could be alive in the late 1800’s. Instead, I can search for bizarre medical devices, Google you amaze me at the depth of your trivial knowledge, and babble nonsense. Viva la freedom of speech.



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