Fantasy Football and Everything Gets Stale in South Florida


old school steelers

What do I name my fantasy football team? There’s always making fun of that QB in New England, and go with Brady Gaga. Then there’s the random team name generators out  there that are getting hits because people like me forgot to grab their Redline Extreme, now with BCAA’s, (no, that’s not a relapse as there is no actual cocaine or methamphetamines in those energy drinks) so I can concentrate, coming up with something clever and cutting edge, but instead, the random generator is saying Mike’s Minions is good and the Sofa Junkies is even better. What to do? Think. Seriously though,  Redline, or more accurately,  makers of,  if you are out there I need a sponsor, no, not that kind, I have one of those already, on 4 & 5 in fact, and while I want to exclaim, ‘what an order, I can’t go through with it’ it’s all gravy because I laugh and smile because an uncomplicated life is where it’s at. Or is that love..Same thing? Sublime. Touche. Point is, I have this friend, tells me, “There’s no future in blogging.” And the free Redlines might just inspire me to pursue this a bit longer, because I write, and get a bit tired some times with  that whole memoir thing, so I need to shift gears occasionally, so why not get some free stuff out of it, spite success, that’s succeeding not because I ever wanted to get anything out of this other than some new creative friends and who have been through hell and recovered, ok, people to hook and buy my memoir when I get it all tightened up and published, it’s an honest program…where was I? Oh, success just to prove to my friend if I cared about the future in any way shape or form, blogging would exist in it, and reward me handsomely, at least until I succumbed to tachycardia and my heart exploded from my sponsor’s superior energy, fat-burning drink, but at least I will appear fit.

What a long paragraph of nonsense…I see that, and I can only offer my apologies. See, my roommate took my headphones which really is causing me feelings of resentment, so, let me tout the quality of Beats Audio, Dre, I turn it over to you and your signature series headphones, because I need some of that in my life to really tune into the spirit of sound. The light is good, but sound…never mind…. So yeah, tags, free things, the future, a caffeine withdrawal headache, no music in my ears, but it’s all okay, because today my eyes opened. Then life crept in, really, should I start Aaron Rogers tonight vs. the Seahawks D? In Seattle no less? And a name…that’s even more important, and isn’t that how all this unmanageability, i.e. babbling, verbal diarrhea, I have a case of dysentery dialect, just shut up, etc., began? It’s all about match-ups really. And you can’t discount Aaron Rogers, so he’s starting, problem one of the day solved. Team name: The Mashed Potatoes. Why? Because my head hurts. Excedrin…that is the ticket. Who makes that?

It’s as if there may be other teams called Mashed Potatoes, but mine is The. Yes, with the long e….As in easy…or the 2nd E in Eazy-E, the end sound in ‘crazy,’ convinced you are all saying it correctly now. It’s that need to separate, to feel above when in reality all this Fantasy Football is just that, fantasy….I am dreaming of winning some self-respect via 1st place, through drafting a team on paper that is pretty damn good if I do say so myself, minus the fact that RG III goes up a Houston D, but that’s Sunday or Saturday night drama, and worrying about that today, just pointless, but if I lose because someone blows a knee, well, karma is a fair sport and I have no one to blame but myself. Maybe this is why I don’t draft Steelers, my karmic debt so in the red, and therein lies the beauty of today, justifying and rationalizing all the way to victory. Something seems off in that last sentence, as opposed to the endless stream of redundant run-on sentences, which if you are an English teacher, please, take no offense, don’t faint over the blatant, colloquial thumbing of the nose, I break rules, and trust me when I tell you this-the rules of proper composition are the ones you want me to be breaking rather than Johnny Law’s or that agency that deals in drugs….see what I did there….drug dealers…yep…Caffeine headache…pulsating. Making my teeth hurt.

But I press on, until hopefully some sort of silver lining comes out of all this rambling. Maybe platinum if I get enough hits. Then follows free Redlines, Pepsi Throwback (obviously, I like nostalgia, rocking the old Steeler logo—which let me tell you- the Steelers, going to win number 7 this year, and for those who don’t know a Steeler fan, come out of your bomb shelter, the world survived both the 2000 software glitch and the 12/21/12 thing…gibber jabber, and don’t think back at that time, both times, I wasn’t pulling for the apocalypse, because I was, but those who know one of us, a Steeler Nation member, we always think like that, we will win #7, but preceding that, the Pirates are getting the Wild Card and then the World Series, and the Pens will win the Cup. 3 parades and the sports world’s envy), Beats Audio, Ferrari, and someone with the clear talent spotting ability that recognizes I would make a hell of an all-expenses paid travel, food, and fun blogger. Hail to the future, Hail to the Chief, that’s Art Rooney BTW, may he rest in peace.

So it begins, good luck fellow teams named Mashed Potatoes, we are kindred spirits with a love of starch and a goal of victory over lesser sides. And in all seriousness, cereal, chips, the humidity down here does more than just melt my mind, it takes the crunch right out of life. Enjoy today, do something good for someone when no one is looking, and all will be ok.

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