Kindergarten Pencils & Delusional Security


 

Kindergarten Pencils

My lead thick, so I can apply the pressure
Listen to a song and dance
Is this all life really is about –
I play down to the storied rumors
Must not be my time
To shine, blind, bind and grind
Looking for wet cement to write a dream
Live and get burned
Pick a scab inside sanity
Push harder
Nothing is going to break
After all I can choke it down
Faith and me tend to disagree
Every morning my sun sets
Tick…tock….tick….tick
Better learn to run before you crawl
Missteps and missed steps
Bend it around my sadness
Infer some meanings
But really, what is understanding –
Hesitation and the shell cracks
Watch blood spill, right where it belongs
A bit too late too diffuse

Delusional Security

Walk over me as I sleep vacant
So many pictures spent feeding the fire
Undone and high strung
Me, the loaded gun
If you aren’t aware
I have a mirror handy
For you to see
Try to believe…me…you…
Any one is no one
Confusion head start
Break grammar, a snap, a groan
The pain chills to the bone
Lost my voice
Screaming in my mind
Sticking to the script
Maybe sticking the script
Then again who I am –
A shadow, tainted flesh
Impenetrable death
Don’t know what else there is to do
I drift, I float, I crash to the ground
It goes on and on, nothing seems very copacetic
Does it
Mean
Anything
I write
Can’t be defined
Clock telling me it’s a new day
Time to pull a rabbit from my thin air
Just an animal in my cage
I tick with alarming frequency
Safe passage
I am everything perceived
Jaded, faded, baited, anticipated
Afraid there isn’t much more to deceive
Beliefs, reliefs
Flip coin to a star
And remember to dream

Kindergarten Pencils & Delusional Security

It comes to this
Shrink wrapped brain
Pick an issue
Run with it
Go as far as you have to so you can see
Me
Creature discomforts
Could have, should have
Taken it with me
Penmanship is a bit difficult to read
Banging out riddles
For any one to read
Senses dull
Cut me down
From this tree
Grimy sounds fill me ears
Lick a sun and resist
Crack a bone on whims
Sure enough it shakes
Everyone’s whore
Beaten and ripe inside out
Never leave a trace
Vanish into quicksand normality
Worse than anyone believes
A nick, picked, bleeds
Laughing at myself
Just want to be safe
Warm
Home
Bygone vagabond
Sand between my intentions
Rubbed raw
Phone it in
It’s an ugly reality
When art jumps out of the unseen
Dying orchids
Shimmy shimmy down
Past blue
Violet skies
And before you know it
I decay

-MFJ

 

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